a harry potter au where potions is taught by gordon ramsay
neville: *messes up his potion*
gordon ramsay: *holds neville between two slices of bread* what are you
neville: an idiot sandwich
no no no!
Imagine that this is Gordon Ramsay a la Masterchef Junior
Neville: *messes up the potion, realizes it, starts crying quietly*
GR: What’s going on?
Neville: *explains how he messed up*
GR: Oh gosh okay…we can fix this, don’t cry, see, it’s fine now? Just be more careful when you’re adding the Newt’s eyes, all right? Drop them in gently. There we go. No more tears.
Neville: *giggles wetly, wiping eyes*
Yes, he only screams when he’s dealing with people that claim to know what they’re doing and clearly dont, when he’s teaching he’s very kind and patient because they’re still learning.
He’d probably do the bread thing to Malfoy.
nononononono. I get that Malfoy is a bit of a twat, but he’s still a kid. It’d be the teachers fucking up that he’d have trouble with.
Ramsay: All you had to do was treat it with a fucking Beozar!
Slughorn: It was a stressfu-
Ramsay: How long have you been teaching potions?!
or
Ramsay: So you’re going to raise this boy SPECIFICALLY so he can die as part of your twisted little scheme?
Dumbledore: It’s for the greater good, professor.
Ramsay: The greater fucking good?! *holds two slices of bread either side of dumbledoor’s face* What are you?
My favorite Gordon Ramsey moment is from the latest season of Master Chef Jr.
Gordon had run in to help a group of struggling kids with a team challenge and one of the older kids, a 12 year old boy, wasn’t passing attention while taking a pan out of the oven and not only spilled all the food but scalded Gordon.
It’s clear Gordon’s leg is in pain. He’s been badly burned without warning. But he doesn’t scream. He doesn’t yell, not even in pain, and he doesn’t go off on the child who is now frozen in fear. He calmly tells the child to set the pan down and to close the oven, safety first. Then tells him to go restart the food he was making, calm instructions.
My husband and I grew up in abusive homes where any mistake meant parents getting angry (my husband is terrified of spills or broken glasses because that meant beatings growing up, for me, anything going wrong, that could upset my mother, even if it wasn’t my fault meant screaming and emotional abuse).
I didn’t know someone could be so calm. That someone could not get angry, and put aside what they’re feeling (in this case a lot of physical pain) and not take it out on those around them, even when someone around them had messed up, because that person is a child.
Gordon Ramsey is a survivor of child abuse himself and as an adult, the most non-abusive person ever when it comes to kids.
im going to cry can gordon ramsey be my parent this sound so beautiful
Please take a moment to picture Gordon Ramsay taking over Potions when Snape becomes the DADA professor (instead of Slughorn) and not only being horrified when he realizes how terrified the students are that he’ll verbally abuse them when they mess up in Potions class but when he overhears how Snape treats students. Like can you IMAGINE the level of RAGE and CONTEMPT that Ramsay would harbor towards Snape? The asshat wouldn’t have made it to the end of HBP. Ramsay would’ve hexed his ass to kingdom come.
Rebloging ALL of this because Chef Ramsay is THE MAN!
-HC
Chef Ramsay would have become the kids’ favourite teacher and you can’t take that away from me.
service dogs are doing a job and usually people want to pet them but then theyll interrupt the job the service dog is trained to do. so the rule of thumb is dont interact with a service dog unless the owner says you can
YEET idc I’m petting the dog anyways
Okay, well.
You shouldn’t pet strangers’ dogs without asking either.
In Boston while waiting for the T, there was a woman with her service dog in full gear also waiting. Two young women went right up to the dog and the moment one of the women reached out to pet the dog, the older woman slapped her hand away and said “My dog is working, do NOT pet.” And I smiled because those young women were in the wrong.
If you came up to my dogs and didn’t ask to pet them, I would slap your hand away, and they’re not even service dogs.
If you pet my service dog without permission, you are stopping him from doing his job.
One of my dog’s jobs is detecting seizures. He gives me a few minutes warning. If he can’t warn me because he’s distracted, I could fall and hit my head.
I could die of a head injury because I wouldn’t have time to find a place to sit and sit down.
But, hey, a stranger gets to pet my dog.
I guess that’s worth it. /sarcasm
Seriously, this is why you DO NOT FUCKING TOUCH A SERVICE DOG
Here’s an article on what happened when someone pet a service dog and it DID distract the dog resulting in the owner suffering a seizure and injuries.
For anyone who doesn’t feel like reading, here is the key points:
Hailey has multiple illnesses including Ehlers-Danlos syndrome and epilepsy. Her service pup in-training, Flynn, has the important task of alerting her roughly 10 minutes before she has a seizure. This gives her time to find a safe place so that she does not injure herself while seizing.
Although the other human meant no harm, her action nearly resulted in tragedy. Because Flynn was distracted, he failed to give Hailey proper notice of her seizure. By the time he was able to alert her, it was already too late.
“My service dog is my lifeline. I don’t say that to be cute. He helps keep me alive just like life support. If he gets distracted this happens. If he gets distracted I can die. Do not pet service dogs. Do not call to service dogs. Do not taunt service dogs. Do not talk to service dogs. Do not do anything to service dogs.”
1) Would you grab a person’s wheelchair and start rolling it forward and back for your own amusement? Would you randomly touch someone’s hearing aid while it’s in their ear? No? Then don’t pet someone’s service dog!
2) Don’t pet anyone’s dog unless you have the owner’s permission. If the dog gets nervous around strangers and you invade its personal space it might bite you out of fear, which could lead to the dog being put down. Not to mention it’s just disrespectful. Asking takes about five seconds. Just do it.
Signal boosting! A service dog is a working dog, and they need your respect more than your affection. If you want to deliver a compliment, let their human know what a great job they’re doing. It will be appreciated.
I thought for the LONGEST time that it was common knowledge that you’re not supposed to pet a service dog. When I found out that, apparently, that wasn’t the case, I was like ?????????
I wake up, my debt is all paid off, my bank account is full, my relationships with my family are healthy, and I’m able to travel anywhere in the world.
reblog for this ultimate fantasy life to come true
“So what can we learn from this study? On the data side, we see that everything is proceeding as planned. Nobody’s paying $50 for a burger at McDonald’s, or $16 for a can of tuna at Safeway. Employers wish their profits were higher, and workers are glad they got a raise, but they wish they made more money. Three years after Seattle started down the road to $15, everything is as it should be. Those apocalyptic claims of destruction and business closures haven’t been proven true. One thing the study didn’t explain was why the sky didn’t fall as promised. Why weren’t workers laid off in droves, or replaced with robots? Why didn’t prices skyrocket? Why does Seattle have more restaurants now than at any point in its history? It’s because those workers who saw a raise now have more money to spend in the city around them. Those restaurant workers are eating in more restaurants. They’re buying more groceries. They’re buying more clothes and cars. That increased consumer demand is creating jobs, and more than paying for the increased minimum wage. The $15 minimum wage established a positive feedback loop that created growth in Seattle by including more people in the economy. In other words, it worked exactly as intended.”
“Ew you’re a guy and like the color pink are you gay?”
I’ve been waiting for this post all my life
Pink is player
HEY GUYS WANT TO KNOW WHEN AND WHY IT WAS ACTUALLY FEMINIZED COMPLETE SOME ACTUAL SOURCES?! LET’S HISTORY FOR A MINUTE:
For most of Western history pink did not have the gender connotations it does today. So what happened?
Pink actually used to be a masculine color, blue a feminine one
Before the 20th Century, young men and women alike wore pink clothing.
Pink actually leant more on the masculine side
– it was seen as a lighter shade of red which was thought to be a ‘fierce’ and ‘warlike’ color and therefore was more appropriate for boys.
Blue was more associated with girls since the Virgin Mary is customarily dressed in blue robes
in paintings and sculptures. In the 15th Century painting above, both God the Father and Jesus are painted wearing pink while Mary wears blue robes.
The early 20th century continued this trend with newspapers like the The Sunday Sentinel in 1914 offering tips to new parents such as “If you like the color note on the little one’s garments, use pink for the boy and blue for the girl, if you are a follower of convention”.
In 1927, Time magazine printed a chart showing sex-appropriate colors for girls and boys according to leading U.S. stores. In Boston, Filene’s told parents to dress boys in pink. So did Best & Co. in New York City, Halle’s in Cleveland and Marshall Field in Chicago.
-The beginnings of a shift
Today’s color dictate began in the 1940s as a result of Americans’ preferences as interpreted by manufacturers and retailers.
Stores found that people were increasingly choosing to buy pink for girls, and blue for boys and slowly began to market them as such, but this was far from a universal convention.
That would happen in the coming decades.
-How a first lady changed pink forever
Okay, so let’s set the scene. During WWII 11 million men and women served in the US military, all needing uniforms. This strained the country’s supply of fabric, the price of civilian clothing skyrocketed and restrictions were brought in.
Clothing using less fabric became fashionable and people conserved materials in this grim time.
The 2.2 million women working in factories supplying soldiers with munitions and equipment would have been used to wearing simple blue denim outfits like this riveter in 1943.
This practicality would go on for years, even after the war, while the country was still recovering.
Then, in 1953, the general who ‘won the war’ Dwight Eisenhower, was elected as president. At his inauguration, his wife, Mamie Eisenhower, turned up in a shockingly ostentatious, enormous, full length, bright pink gown, embroidered with more than 2,000 rhinestones.
It may look fairly basic now but this was a ‘break the internet’ type of moment (before there was an internet) and a complete departure from the wartime styles of the previous decade.
Mamie would wear pink – her favorite color – everywhere, it was her signature. It was a completely arbitrary, personal preference – she thought it went well with her complexion – but this was a major turning point in the story of pink.
It became widely accepted as a feminine color and women everywhere began wearing it to emulate the glamorous first lady.
This was solidified and exemplified in the 1957 smash hit film ‘Funny Face’ starring Audrey Hepburn. Think of it as the ‘Devil Wears Prada’ of it’s time.
Watch the fashion magazine editor declare that today’s modern woman needs to “Think Pink!”
This trend coincided with the post WWII economic expansion, sometimes referred to as ‘The Golden Age of Capitalism’, the period from the end of the war to the mid 1970′s.
Companies looking to rebrand their products to capitalize on this emerging market used pink to energize and modernize products, this 1960 advert for ‘new’ pink soap being an example.
From here on in, pink was everywhere, from clothes to interiors, cars and furniture, it was universally accepted as a symbol for femininity.
This trend became a cultural norm throughout the Western world and beyond and remains the case to this day.
So no, it wasn’t Hitler, but Mamie Eisenhower, who was the first person to initiate Halloween decorations be put up in the white house, clipped coupons, acted as a gracious host and had recipe for “Mamie’s million dollar fudge” is the reason pink is associated with girls and femininity.
Rockets in the sky 
